Ito ang mga tulang ginawa ko sa subject na Humanidades 1. Ang unang tula ay isang tanaga (tradisyunal na tulang binubuo ng apat na linyang may tig-pipitong pantig) Ang ikalawang tula ay isang tulang pambata, at ang ikatlo naman ay isang kongkretong tula. Nakakataba lang ng puso dahil ang tatlong tulang ito ay nagustuhan ng aking propesor at maaari niya raw itong maisama sa libro/ koleksyon ng mga tulang kaniyang binubuo. Sana nga ay mapasama kahit ang isa lamang sa tatlong iyan. Napakasaya sa pakiramdam na mayroong nagkakagusto sa gawang pinaghirapan nang husto. Hay..binuhay nito ang loob ko na mayroon akong kakayahang makapagsulat nang may kwenta haha!
I don't know why I should be sad well in fact I should be really happy right now because of the followig reasons:
-I'm about to graduate this coming March 30
-my dad's here and he will be able to attend my graduation
-my aunt and uncle will pay for the ticket for The Click Five's concert in Araneta (they told me that that is their graduation gift for me)
-I have a university to enter next school year (not just any university, a PREMIERE one)
-I am turning 18 this May, and my mom will be here by that time
Even if I have these "blessings" and reasons to be happy, I still feel sad and disappointed. Sure, I am through with highschool already but i will really miss my friends. College will be a new start for me: "clean slate". I have to adjust again, and get used to more challenging school works. I think college will just make my life miserable even more.
"umiiyak ka na naman?! ano bang mapapala mo kapag lumabas na yang mga luhang yan? may mababago ba ha?"
napapagod na ako eh...
"dapat lang mapagod ka na sa kakaiyak na yan! puro ka drama, wala ka ng ibang gawin kundi yan!"
pagod na pagod na ako
"pagod?! e ba't kasi hindi ka pa tumigil?"
ang hirap kasi..
yan ang tumatakbo sa isip ng isang iyaking dismayado. walang-wala ng pag-asa. akala mo wala ng bukas kung umiyak.
nakakapagtaka, sino nga ba ang kumakausap kay iyakin? malamang nababaliw na siya kung wala. nangangahulugan lang na hindi na niya namamalayan ang totoong nangyayari sa kanya dahil sa paggawa ng sariling mundo. kung saan walang taong makakakita sa pagbuhos ng luha niya o di kaya'y walang kokontra sa iisipin niya. noong una'y nag iisa lamang siya sa mundong iyon, ngunit nalaungkot siya. ayun, gumawa ng taong makakausap, yung tipong iba sa kanya.
kung si iyakin ang bida, aba'y may kontrabida na rin sa mundo niya. hindi naman talaga maituturing kontrabida ang isng tauhang ito. siya lamang naman ang tipong malakas, walang kinakatakutan, walang pakialam sa mga problema at pagbagsak. hindi naman siya pusong bato, sadyang wala lang sa kurso niya ang salitang "pag-iyak."
ayoko na! parati nalang ganito, hindi na nagbago ang buhay ko! (habang umiiyak)
eh kung hindi mo pinoproblema, edi walang problema! walang dapat ikalungkot! ano ka ba!?
madali para sa'yo sabihin yan, wala ka namang pakialam sa mundo eh..
hindi lang ako palaiyak tulad mo. hindi ako problemado, hindi agad nagigiba ag emosyon ko.
emosyon? ha! meron ka noon? magaling ka rin magpatawa..pero hindi mo ako madadala sa birong yan!
kung biro lang sa'yo na may emosyon ako..sa tingin mo hindi kita pakikialaman? sa tingin mo ba hindi ko pinapalakas ang loob mo? sa tingin mo ba, dapat kinakausap kita ngayon at sinasabing 'tumigil ka na sa pag-iyak' kung wala akong pakiramdam?
........
kathimikan....wala ng naisagot si iyakin.
oo nga't lumagpak siya. eh ano ngayon? wala naman ng magagawa, hindi na maibabalik ang dati. humahanap lang siya ng masisisi at maisusumbat sa mundo. pati ang nagpapatahan sa kanya'y kanyang binuska.
ganoon nga ba talaga kapag lumagpak ang isang tao? lahat nakakalimutan? ultimo katotohanan at ang kasalukuyan..nakakalimutan na rin na may ibang nagmamalaksakit. sila pa nga mismo ang manhid. palibhasa kinain na sila ng sarili nilang kalungkutan.
nakakalimutan na rin ang dapat gawin imbis na magmukmok at magsentimyento sa tabi.
sa totoo lang, ang pinakaimportate na madalas makalimutan kapag lumagpak ang isang tao ay ang kanyang sarili. pinapatay nila ang mismong sarili sa paulit-ulit na pag-alala o kakaisip sa problema. sila ang hindi nakikinig sa bulong ng kabilang parte ng katauhan niya: iyon ay ang katauhang may tapang at 'di nawawalan ng pag-asa.
minsan lumagpak si iyakin.....
sinadya niyang hindi makinig sa bulong ng kontrabida ng mundo niya..
i haven't posted anything meaningful or sensible this month..(actually, this year)
so, summer is on...and i'm really feeling it because of the weather..(it's really hot!)..another thing is..our upcoming concert...
*this is what you call SACRIFICE...
we practice everyday...singing the same songs and dancing the same steps
another openin' another show...hello bj dolly well hello...there could never be a portrait of my love...till the traffic sign grows cold, till this young world grows old...
ALL OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
doesn't that make you tired? imagine practicing for three hours everyday and doing the same routines...exhausting huh?...and still, these songs were not yet polished...and there's this instance that we practiced for about 6 and a half hours! so, what's the effect? I LOST MY VOICE! love hate it!
*this is what you call GIVING-UP...
last school year, i auditioned for the club "lit choir" (liturgical choir)...luckily, i passed...(i was one of the three people who officially passed the auditions..)..but this summer, i had second thoughts about joining the group...my mom told me that she wanted me to focus on my studies...she wanted me to teach my little brother with his lessons...she also mentioned that i am already a member of our church's choir...
i imagined myself joining the group with all these responsibilities...
i'll be at home by 6:30 or 7:30...i'll do my hw, projects or study for a quiz or long tests...teach my little brother...and by weekend, i have to study and also attend the choir practice (in our church) and sing for the sunday mass..and when the practices for the eco song fest begins, i have to give up my lunch break and dismissal time...by august to october, the entrance exams
that's heavy.......
i began to question myself if i can survive with this kind of schedule (or routine?)...my answer: NO...simply because, i get stressed easily even if i am not part of a group (like the lit choir)...based on my 1st to 3rd yr experiences..i lacked time for other things..
another reason is i have to teach my brother (and i can't do that if i have to go home late and also study for my quizzes)...i think i'll fail my last year in high school...
*this is what you call PAIN ...
i have to choose between joining the group, or back-out....
i told my classmate/the president of the lit choir that i will not joi them anymore..i apologized and told her my reason..i also thanked them for appreciating my talent...
she said ok...
but still, it hurts..(i think..i wasted their time and the oppurtunity they've given me)
i guess, lit choir is not for me...and there are more oppurtunities for me...especially in college..
I am Deidre(pronounced as: dey-dri). I am 18 yrs. old and..
-I REALLY love music
-I am fond of watching asianovelas
-I know how to play the guitar and the piano
-I like surfing the net
-I love hanging out with my friends
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